Episode 2: Run before you Walk: I know that sounds bass ackwards. 

The approach. I know all conventional wisdom would say that you should actually walk before you run however that’s just not how I see the world. I’ve never been a fan of doing things “the easy way”.  Where would the fun in that be. So like most things in my life I typically just jump in headfirst, regardless if the water is shallow or deep. I never really look. Not always the smartest way to make decisions. But it has led me to a very interesting and colorful life. #Church

#SideBar. OK here’s the thing I don’t understand I’m sitting here enjoying my coffee writing my blog and for whatever reason somebody just has to start “chit-chatting” with me and you know how I feel about “chit-chat”. Arghh!!! It’s like seriously dude you can’t see that I have headphones on and I’m working on my computer and that I’m not making eye contact with you. I always thought the universal language for “don’t talk to me I’m not interested” is when someone has headphones on and doesn’t make eye contact with you. #SeriouslyDude

OK where was I. Oh yeah the approach. First let me say I do not recommend the headfirst approach as it will often cause a lot of pain and many times lead to injury; mentally, physically, and spiritually.  You need a plan.

The plan. So you can see I pretty much just glossed over the approach stage and went straight into the plan, which BTW, I had none.  All I knew was I was losing weight and I wasn’t feeling any better about my overall fitness, and how i actually looked.  I had to do something, so why not run. I mean seriously why would I not do the one thing I hated more than anything in the world. I used to mock my buddies (most of them were runners) and say things like “I can’t even drive 5 miles without taking a break” or “if you see me running, you had better start running too because that means there is a snake, gator, or mountain lion after me”. That was how much I despised running.

#SideBar. YouTube. I am a YouTube junkie. I’m addicted to YouTube. I watch more YouTube then any other type of television programming. Well except for Showtimes blockbuster show “Billions” (shameless plug in hopes to be paid advertisement by Showtime some day – just sayin). And of course NFL.  #GoPats. There went 3 of my 7 loyal followers.  Oh well.  What was i saying.  Of yes.  YouTube. What a phenomenal concept. Take everyday people with no professional film making or editing skills, or coaches with no real “credentials”, and make them a movie star.  An “expert”. Especially the coaching experience, YouTube makes them seemingly “experts” and allows them, on and easy to navigate open platform, to tell the world just exactly how smart they are. And We buy it hook line and sinker her every single day. And they make hundreds of millions of dollars. #Genius. #YouTube.

#SideBarOfMySideBar. Maybe I need to Vlog. My kids are doing it. And they have at least 10 times the followers I have. But what in the hell is Vlog? How could I…

#OriginalSideBar conclusion. Sorry. I was saying, You  can watch a video on how to become the world’s greatest runner and then five seconds later watch about a woman who has literally fostered over 28,000 cats. Actually, that was a really interesting video.  #JustSayin.  Can you say diversity. #YouTubeAddict

Back to The Plan.  That is exactly what I did.  I started watching every YouTube video I could find on running a 5K. There’s the couch to 5K. One of my favorites was this huge obese man talking about how running saved his life and helped him lose all this weight and I was thinking, really? (I chose not to shameless plug this one as it would just come across as mean). I’m taking advice from a man who looks as though he’s two donuts away from his next heart attack and he is an expert on running and losing weight?  Yep. Addicted I tell you. I watched videos on Chi running. Meditated running. The oh so important “motivational videos” (this one is actually pretty awesome “Running in the Rain”: https://youtu.be/xf4eJgwrUyA).  There is even a video on running while you’re totally baked on marijuana. OK maybe that one I should try this, you know just for content research purposes. Lol. After watching probably 1000 videos on how to become a runner I finally realized sitting my fat ass in a chair watching videos on how to run and not actually going out and running was not getting it done. And you know how my first run ended up.

Getting started. So after completely failing at my first attempt to run even a mile I had to come up with a plan. Sure there were running groups and running teams and meet ups, but again I don’t like people and I certainly don’t want to go running with people.  Remember, I can’t even get to the top of my own hill. So I took bits and pieces of all of this information, put it up on a white board, and started my own unique plan. It was pretty simple actually. I started out walking for a certain amount of time each day, then walk/ run and eventually just running.  #JustRun.

#SideBar. I’m not gonna lie every time I thought I hit a wall and didn’t think I could continue, this image of Forest Gump and Jenny would pop in my brain. All I could hear was “run Forrest run… run Forrest”(https://youtu.be/x2-MCPa_3rU) . And of course the inevitable “stupid is as stupid does” (https://youtu.be/D_Komi7wnAw). I love that movie. It is one of those movies that no matter where it is when you stumble on it you just have to finish watching the entire thing.  BTW – This #SideBar is brought to you by Milk and Honey Spa Bee Cave https://milkandhoneyspa.com (ok, I am really reaching for advertising dollars here). But it is a great place to get your ass kicked by very nice therapist who seems gentle and kind enough until she gets you behind closed doors – then it’s game on.  And I am not ashamed to admit they have made me cry in pain on several occasions. Cody-Marie (shameless plug) is exceptionally talented at ripping your hamstrings back to “normal” and I must admit, two or three days later I feel much better.

Wow. I think that was another #SideBarOfMySideBar. Sorry. Somebody cut me off. No more caffeine.

Back to Getting Started. Now I’m running. Well Kinda running. The single most important part of my early running was finding good shoes and a great playlist. But oh look here, we are out of time today.  To be continued next time. (A person i trust and love very much reminded me that if you cannot read my blog in the amount of time it takes to drop a duece, then its too long. I am just hoping y’all had a big dinner last night – ok, too much?) #DroppingADuece.

At the end of the day: It doesn’t matter if you’re fast or slow. It doesn’t matter if you run a 5K or just run in your neighborhood. Doesn’t matter if you win a race, complete your first 5k, or just beat your personal best. For me, in my experience, it’s all about the search…The journey…. #JustRun.  Push  yourself, and #NeverQuit.

JJ Out!

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