Blog – Episode 8: “I Just…Felt…Like…Running”.

Just read an amazing article that got me back to my Why?… because I just feel like running.

There has been so much pressure to run faster. Win my races. Compete. But I recently shared with some of my colleagues (CURO Coaches, my Coach and mentor) that I am starting to NOT like running. And I am feeling all kinds of sad and anger about that. I train, and train hard, 6 days a week. Plus train my clients as well. And I have forgotten my Why?

SideBar: Coach Blue is literally the best in the biz (#runwiththelab) and he tells me constantly to slow down on my slow days. In my warm Ups. During my cool downs. I have struggled with this concept. And then last week happened. I crashed and burned.

Anyway, I Murdered my first “hard” workout of the week (of course I also went 6 miles further and much faster then instructed). And then crushed my Sprint workout (and that was good).

SideBar: Why do we attempt to do more and lie and do less then what we are actually suppose to do. It’s this weird internal battle. If I do more, I will get x times better x times faster. If I do less, then I get embarrassed and just say I did more. It’s a vicious cycle. I tend to over train and then lie and say I did “just the workout”. What a dumbass.

What was I saying…oh yes…But when it came time to run my 3 x 1 mile race Pace workout. I fu%k*ng CHOKED. Literally and figuratively blew chunks. Everything was in place for this failure. Time of day was off. Super hot day. Extended my fast past 16 hours. Wasn’t hydrated. Just a complete miss in terms of preparation on my part.

Then all sorts of downward spirals started. Decided to hammer a crazy new CURO-Fit workout (200+ squats and many other exercises that totally taxed my body). Then I stepped on the scale and saw I was up a whole 2 lbs (never stopping to think – hmmm maybe this is a good thing. Maybe it’s a little muscle. You know. Cuz I have been training my ass off). Nope I then decided to “Juice it off”. And then another .5lbs. Now I realized – crap I need to max out a cheat day and get my metabolism back on track. Nope. That didn’t work either. So now I am really in the dump. So I said screw it – and had 2 horrible eating days. No real water intake. And gained another pound.

WTF. Now I am on full tilt. So I destroyed not 1 but 2 pints of my favorite cheat meal – Hagen Daz Chocolate Peanut butter ice cream. Oh yeah added some queso and chips and a Pepsi to wash it down. Yep. I blew it. I lost all my gains over a year of hard work. I am a freagin loader. NOT!!!

My rational brain finally kicked in and said “Yo dip shit, you forgot your Why? You love to run. So just go run”. So I got out of bed. Looked in the mirror (which I had been avoiding for the last 2 days) and saw…nothing. Nothing horrible. No big belly. No loss of lean muscle. Not chubby cheeks. Just me with a new haircut and a still pretty damn fit body. Grabbed my shoes. My iPhone and headset. And I just ran.

At the end of the day, we all struggle with similar issues. Confidence. Accountability. Vulnerability. Authenticity.  Connection. But we are also all human. And even us coaches F up from time to time. But all it takes is a moment. A single moment to lace back up those shoes and just run, because “I just felt like running”.

Check out CURO Coaching at and remember – one moment at a time.

JJ is Out!

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